Dear Rosetta Stone: a New Year treat

Dear Rosetta Stone,

I have taken a break from writing to you because I was observing the holidays. I thought it was only fair to let you observe them as well. We both know why I am here, so let us cut to the chase.

I still want an Elvish language program. You know that there is a part of you that wants it, nay needs it, just as much as I do. I have an entire collective of individuals that are eager to see this product happen, so c’mon.

I used to pray to Snoopy when I was little. I had a very liberal upbringing. My grandmother would send me to my room and tell me to say my prayers. There were more pictures of Snoopy than any other deity in our house, so he received my attention. I have been asking Snoopy for this language program. I have actually been praying to Snoopy for this. It would be swell and you know it. I think it would be a New Year miracle. Make this happen.

This program is just what the new decade needs. New decade; new frontier of linguistics. You should totally announce that this product is being developed on January 3rd because that is Tolkein’s 117th birthday. What a lovely posthumous birthday present for the man who will make you barrels of cash!

Once again, I apologize for taking time away from our common cause for the holidays. I promise you that I will bring a new passion in the new year. I want this more than anything I can think of at this moment in time. Let’s make this happen together. We can make a better world together, you and me, Rosetta Stone. We can make this happen.

Sincerely,

Jess of the Cardigan Collective

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